Sorry we're closed.
Yes, Me, Myself & I.
You know that dreadful feeling you get when you walk up to a store with hopes that they will be open, even if it's only the last 5 minutes. Your mind is completely set on what it is that you need, if only you could have made it on time before you read: Sorry, we're closed.
Sunday evening is always a time of reflection for me. I develop new ways of thinking, I often meditate on how I am going to approach the week and I challenge myself to practice patience better than the week before. Sounds nice right? I agree, it does. But one thing I fail at continuously is extending myself a little too much to others without even checking in with myself. I quite frequently find myself drained, drained from all the unhealthy conversations I allow in my personal space, the subscriptions I have to other people's issues and the challenges I face daily personally while still finding time to help others and commit to extra projects.
Well, I am closed; closed for personal care, closed for personal maintenance, closed for self-care.
I've taken my services off the shelf, I am no longer marking my time as a "clearance" item and I am definitely returning all items described as other people's "mess."
What good are we to others if we aren't good to ourselves first? How often do we listen to the lives of others and all of their negativity until it begins to weigh heavy? I sat, reflected and enjoyed a glass of Cabernet and the valid conclusion that I came to was, close for two-weeks for some re-modeling. Better yet, close for as long as you need to.
Remodeling is checking in with self; It's finding new ways to care for yourself and pay attention to your own wants & needs. You don't have to respond to texts right away, you don't need to be at someone's beck & call, you surely don't need to put your own well-being on the back burner. If you're similar to me, you've naturally taken on the role as a healer/giver, listener, resume Queen and someone who can fix everything with just lending an ear. Yes, those attributes are great, I often am flattered to review work, offer advice and pour into others; it was done for me, and for that I am truly grateful. But there comes a time when you will hit burn-out, compassion fatigue and eventually that can turn into bitterness.
I won't even touch on the fact that at times the same love, compassion, genuine helpfulness and frequent check-ins aren't always offered in return but it's furthermore a supporting factor to shut down business. Shut down for self-care for as long as you may need.
My sign will read:
"We're closed. The mind, body and soul of a continuous giver needs this time to check-in with self. We are closed for fertilization and growth in multiple areas that contribute to personal well-being. If you've stopped by to complain, nag, whine and only think about yourself, turn around, drink some water and do a self check-in. See you soon."
I encourage you to check-in with yourself and decide when you need to close and for how long. When you re-open what will be different? What will you discontinue, take off the shelf and not allow to return to your space?
We must first serve ourselves, fall deeply in love with the fact that our own mental well-being and desires come first.