Sometimes bad things happen to people, and sometimes we wished for those bad things. As humans, we are no strangers to the concept of revenge.
History is full of schemers and dreamers, people who have been wronged and thirst for some form of retribution. Revenge is defined as, “the action of inflicting hurt or harm on someone for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands.” Now I know what you're probably thinking dear reader, “Well I only thought about it, so that doesn’t apply to me.”
Wrong. Studies show that revenge, even thinking about revenge increases stress and impairs health. The desire for revenge can also affect you socially, as you become consumed you begin to transform into the type of people we hate; petty, insecure, and angry. It becomes harder for you to open up to people because you won't trust anyone, and who wants to be around a person like that? Unfortunately, being hurt is a natural part of life.
It’s not okay, and it’s not fun but it does happen. However, how we handle those situations and move forward is completely up to us. So here are a few tips in forgiveness for the next time you're itching for some good old karma.
1. It’s ok to be salty.
You’ve just been hurt and have every right to be upset. Go ahead and cry. It’s important to address your feelings when something like this happens. You should also accept that your ill intentions towards them are a normal reaction and your in the right to feel the way you do. With that being said, don’t make any rash decisions right away. Wait until you have a chance to calm down before deciding your next choice of actions.
2. Consult with friends.
Run your situation by other people you trust and get a second opinion. Is your anger justified or are you just overreacting? Because hey, it does happen. Finding out what somebody else thinks is also a good way of understanding how the person you're angry at might feel as well. Make sure your confiding in the right people and word doesn’t get back to that person before your ready though.
3. Let it go.
Begin the process of forgiving before you confront this person since there's no telling what will happen when you talk it out. There's a chance you won't get the apology your looking for. It's possible you won't even restore that relationship again. No matter what, continue to be the bigger person and forgive them anyway. Forgiving them ahead of time allows you to be at peace with whatever happens and move on afterward. Don't waste your emotions on difficult people, it's their loss.
I know it can be difficult to deal with emotions objectively and that this isn't a black and white subject. There are millions of scenarios that come with revenge, and we've barely scratched the surface, However, I hope these tips can help you the next time you're feeling angry or upset anyway. You're too busy being great to worry about a relationship that can't be redeemed. Good luck and God bless.