Reality Check

Photo by Morgan Daniels

Have you ever heard the saying that, “if you are falling out with everyone around you, you must be the problem?" This is true to an extent.

Sometimes we may know something is wrong but we are automatically programmed to believe that the problem must be with the people around us, that it couldn’t possibly be me causing so much harm and mishaps constantly. Have you ever felt like everything you are doing is wrong because nothing is going right for you or the way that you would like for things to go? Well I am here to tell you that yes, you can be the root of your very own problems.

Reality checks are needed occasionally to remind us that we too must be nice at all times and respectable towards others as well as ourselves. For example, ask yourself these questions when it comes to your relationships with others: Am I listening to understand when having conversations with this person, or am I listening to have response back? Am I compromising when it comes to situations and subjects we cannot agree on, or is it my way or no way? Are my extracurricular activities actually helping me in the long run, or are they bringing me more harm and placing me in tougher situations that I am already in? Finding a balance and figuring out what is good for you and what is not good for you, along with those around you, can really help make things easier for you on your search for joy.

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Hey everyone! My name is Keara Douglas from Delux Designs (DE), LLC out of Fort Lawn, SC. First and foremost, I would like to thank JOYday Movement’s founder Morgan Brittani for giving me the opportunity to become a writer for this amazing movement. I have been following the official twitter page for it for some time now and have been a fan ever since. I look forward to contributing more posts for the website along with future twitter chats, thanks everyone, happy blogging!

Let It Go

Photo by Morgan Daniels

Written by Quinci

What is holding you captive? Emotionally, mentally, spiritually and even physically?

For a lot of us, we hold onto habits and people that aren't healthy for us. We hold on out of fear, comfort, and that taunting "what if?”

How amazing would it be to just say no?

Freeing yourself of the attachment of that person you know isn't good for you. Letting go of past mental trauma and pain that can your growth, releasing all negative and toxic energy that stops your spirit from healing, then blooming into your full potential.

I, personally, have experienced not being able to let go of an unhealthy situation. A lot of times I feel as if people really just hold onto people who do not serve a greater good because of memories, comfort, attachment, or the what could be.

“What if they realize my potential?”

"What if they came back around?"

Honestly, within the last three to four weeks I've realized that if you constantly have to make excuses for why something isn't working, solely relying on the "what if's", or potential it's time to...

LET IT GO. Again, let it go!

Do it when you're genuinely ready and completely ready to grow. Forcing yourself will only make the task more daunting and harder to really let go, trust me.

STEP 1:

Get closure for yourself.

If needed, talk that person. If it's not possible to actually contact them, write them a letter and then burn it.

STEP 2:

Delete any pictures, messages, or any memories. Even though that's the hard part.

If it's something you're battling on a spiritual level, purge.

Release your negative energy, face your demons, cry it out, and release whatever is holding you captive. Find time to meditate or a place to clear your mind and hear your own thoughts. There are also a lot of spiritual rituals you can do to help balance out your soul and boost your positive energy.

STEP 3:

If it's physical, find something that makes you feel refreshed but mostly importantly, healthy.

Ex: Work out, go on a walk, or listen to music that just makes you feel free and happy! Just do anything that helps you, there's no set formula.

With the end of the year near, it would be awesome for everyone to be able to go into the new year baggage free, healthy, happy and ready to grow.

If you have any suggestions on how to let go and serve your highest self let us know!

Tears

Illustration by Morgan Daniels

I used to hate crying. I thought it made me look weak and childish. So, I bottled. I carried within me fountains of tears I wouldn’t release because I was so afraid of being vulnerable. I was afraid that my tears would show others the state of my soul. I was afraid that my tears would tell me the truth. The truth I was too afraid of facing. But, a little over a year ago, I gave up on the idea of bottling my emotions. I gave up on the lie that hiding my tears meant covering up my flaws. I gave up on the notion that vulnerability was weakness. I am the woman who cries when I see strangers crying. I weep at movies, music, poetry, random words thrown together, affirmations, confirmations… you name it (yes, you can say that with your Shirley Caesar voice). I pour my soul over coffee in Starbucks and I cry. I don’t care. Crying is healthy.

I’m an advocate of self-care and self-love. Over the past year I’ve learned the importance of loving myself and taking care of the body, mind and soul I call home. Crying, for me, is a part of my self-care regime and a way that I remind myself to love who I am, where I am and where I’ve been. I wish I could say that my life has been painted with gold and drenched in honey. But, it hasn’t. Life happens. It happens to all of us, but even then, your mind needs your honesty. Your soul needs your truth. It is okay to cry. It is okay to feel. Release yourself, you don’t have to fight yourself anymore. Your vulnerability is not weakness- it is strength. Your tears water your soul, don’t fight your own growth.

If I hadn’t cried myself weary that day in June 2015, I wouldn’t be where I am now. Just releasing all the weight I was carrying for all the years I was at war with who I was, what I had been through and who did what to me, changed everything. Life didn’t suddenly change but, I sure felt better and I had a clearer perspective. My vision was clearing up, I opened myself to myself. That’s it. Crying reminded me that I am human too. That I feel like everyone else- maybe more than others. It reminded me that I couldn’t keep on faking it ‘till I made it. I had to be honest. I had to make a decision to take care of myself. To love me. All of me. So, I cried. I wept for days, weeks, months even. Honestly, it is okay to cry. Don’t be your own prisoner. Release yourself.

Cry. You are not weak, you are being watered.

Sweet November

Photo by Morgan Daniels

Written by Key

November is a bittersweet month for me. No longer is it summer, it’s fall. It’s not even early fall where there are some leaves left and the weather is mild, nope...the leaves are almost gone and it’s brisk. The wind hits my face quick and hard. It gets dark faster. It’s not my month.

Everyone is happy with holiday cheer and I fall quickly into a slump, I think.

It’s been this way for three years. Three years ago I began my November with illness and frequent hospital visits and ended it with heartbreak. In the middle somewhere was what I had planned to be one of the best days for me, a day of celebration. That perfect cool mild November day soon turned into a night that I’ll never forget...don’t matter how many times I try not to “think about that time.” He was the highlight of my day. It was the day that we could finally be together, but quickly…that white picket dream was crushed before it even had the chance to be birthed into a reality.

November is the month of my parents anniversary. Something I never had. No one ever to bring home for thanksgiving, or even mention. November last year was my last month of hope. November brings on anxiety, one that looms over my heart and makes it tremble, flutter, palpate...in the same way that my heart did as I lay in my bed gasping for air three years ago….in the same way my heart did as I cried “how.”

November is the month that I lost my friendship of six years due to a situation that also caused me to lose the guy that I thought would be next to me this year at the thanksgiving table...Christmas...and next January... February …. and May…. and August.

November isn’t just a loss for the trees, it’s a loss for me..

This year I didn’t weep. I cried but I didn’t weep. I know that leaves fall for a reason and times of turmoil are just for a season. This year, I was renewed and finally let go of the leaves I was holding onto so deeply. The resentment, the pain, the comparisions.

November is a bittersweet month for me. It’s never been the kindest yet it always comes bringing unexpected beautiful gifts of growth.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve forgotten how to play in the leaves that fall. I think it’s time to learn.

Screensavers

Photo by Jakira Shaw

Written by Gabrielle Hickmon

The journey back to myself started with the changing of my screensaver. Because for 6 months, it was you. Well, not exactly you, it was us, we, you and me - together. Although, that too isn’t completely accurate. It was a representation of where I thought I wanted, no, needed to be. A representation of where I thought I belonged. The problem being that there’s no way I could be there when I was here and being reminded of the loss of it all every time I opened my phone was problematic to say the least.

I never knew how much words, no, images mattered until I changed my screensaver away from you. How that simple act would begin the process of my journey home - the journey into the depths of my soul. How the stuff we keep, hoard, refuse to let go of is actually amazing when you stop to think about it. Ponder it. Dissect why.

I wonder if I left my screensaver what it was for those six months because I needed to still feel connected or because I was addicted to the pain. Pretty sure it was the latter, not, never the former. But what do I know? Soul ties are such a bitch.

Now, I keep my screensaver more neutral. You know, more about me, and less about you, us, we, you and me, together. More here’s and less there’s. Unless of course there has nothing to do with you, then and only then is it acceptable - when there is devoid of you.

The journey back to myself started with the changing of my screensaver. And I thought that meant I was over it. But, then, I went and made it my Twitter header. Shows how much I know about falling out of love with a person, place, and time, right?

The journey back to myself started with the changing of my screensaver. But, I don’t think I’ve fully made it home yet. More like sitting in my car, in the driveway, trying to grow the strength to walk up to the door and go in the house. A home I’ve always known, that I also know is very different now - no matter what my screensaver looks like.