What brings you joy?
Jesus, peace, beautiful days, music, adventures, helping others
India's Mental Health Story:
I was diagnosed with depression when I was 12. The first time, I was walking around the neighborhood with a bottle of pills. I tried to take a lot of ibuprofen at once but I took so many I ended up spitting them up. The second time I cut my arm with a razor. I felt trapped, I didn’t like my circumstances, I wanted to be free at a young age. I started going to therapy. After that my depression went away for a while. Then, in college I felt it come back and I felt at the time I wanted to go to therapy. When I went, I decided I didn’t need it anymore but I was being forced to go. I was in a toxic relationship and didn’t feel loved.
I wanted to be with Jesus but not necessarily self-harm myself. I always felt Jesus was the only one in my corner, who had my back. I would cry out to Him asking him to take me away, why things were happening to me, and how unhappy I was. One day at therapy I shared how I wanted to get away such as drinking myself to sleep but my therapist took it out of context. My mother didn’t understand and she was crying. I ended up in the ER where the woman there felt I was a serious case. I was supposed to go to Vegas for my birthday. I ended up staying the night in the ER until I was transported to a mental health hospital for a week. I felt everyone had betrayed me.
From that stay I learned my life is precious, there’s people that want to help and there’s people that don’t, not to end up back there, and to make mental health better. I also learned my circumstances don’t determine my life. I even told the person I was in a toxic relationship with I was in the hospital which he didn’t believe me. I’m a sensitive person and it bothers me. I don’t like to cry. I even struggled with anxiety for an outgoing person. I didn’t like feeling like people were always watching me.
I started therapy back up with a great therapist which I had to do once I left the hospital. I had to reconnect with God so I could get that love I felt I was missing and making me feel less than. Once I knew I only need love from Jesus, it made me unstoppable. Today my faith has grown that I don’t let things get me to the point where I want to leave this earth anytime soon. I know God has a purpose for me to fulfill. I focus on what God wants me to learn from situations. I know things are temporary, I don’t let them get to me. I learned to change my outlook and what can I change instead of it overwhelming me. When I feel overwhelmed, I pray to God. I don’t like giving things/people my joy so I focus on staying peaceful and keeping my joy. You can’t have my joy even on my worst day.
[If you are currently struggling with your mental health I'd say] pray, read scripture, talk to someone, don’t let your circumstances determine your life, educate yourself, you are loved, you’re not an outcast, your life is important, find what brings you joy.
Suicide is not the end all, be all. Educating everyone on mental health, making sure we’re helpful to one another, not romanticizing/criticizing mental health issues but instead making it normal to discuss, not solving everything with medication, and having more representation, making resources affordable and accessible.