What brings you JOY?
Life. Being able to create and travel and enjoy my family and friends.
Kailah's Mental Health Story:
"At the age of 16, the emergency room became my second home. I was passing out every other day, losing my vision and my blood sugar dropped dangerously low at whim. Every week, I was seeing a new physician with no sign of a diagnosis. There were days when I literally couldn't walk from the immense pain ravaging through my body. It rocked me to my core and sent me into a deep depression. I was so tired of being in this body that my freshman year of college, I not only contemplated however, attempted suicide. I filled my tub with water. Took my bottle of prescription pain medication. Emptied them on my tongue. Sat in the tub and waited. I didn't take enough medicine. So, yeah, I failed my suicide attempt. lol
So, I took it as a message that I was still supposed to be here. I switched universities to one closer to home and nearer to my Primary Care Physician. From there, I started taking it day by day with prayer and patience. I learned to live with my illness and within a few months, I was vibrant and back to my old self. Fast forward, four years later. I'm a college graduate, living in New York with my fine ass boyfriend. We are traveling, loving life and in the midst of all of this turn-up- we're pregnant. Wtf. We weren't financially or mentally ready for a child so, we decide on an abortion. It was a difficult choice and to this day, we talk about "what-if".
Long story short, two months after the abortion, I'm hospitalized and diagnosed with Lupus. My physician then follows to tell me that the drug that can counter the pain I have due to Lupus will not only make me lose my hair however, has the potential to make me infertile. Can you say, my entire world went into a haze. I had to choose between never having children..following a recent abortion and living with an unfathomable amount of pain almost everyday of my life. So yea, saying I went into a state of depression was an understatement. Surprisingly, here I am, 6 months later more at peace than I have ever been. Stronger than I've ever imagined. To have endured so much more than what I can even articulate in this excerpt and still be here- is just my testament to God's mercy. The book of Job is my faveeee book of the bible. Oh, and if you're wondering, I decided to forgo the medication and take a naturopathic route which has worked out in my favor.
After a bad break up in high school I experienced a bad period of depression and that was only the beginning. My freshmen year of college it only got worse due to bad relationships and lack of motivation to do well in school. If it wasn't for my decision to love myself I don't know if I would have made it out."