Written by Talore McBride
I can remember the first time someone broke my heart. I felt unwanted, inferior…just not good enough. I cried and cried and begged for him to take me back. This happened a few more times, with different guys. Eventually, I realized that I was not sad because of the breakups, I didn’t need any of these guys to keep moving forward. I was sad because of how the breakup made me feel about myself.
Sometimes we place all of our happiness into one person and then once something goes wrong, we feel like our world is ending. We get caught up in the way they make us feel, how attractive they think we are, or how smart, or creative or whatever else they may find us to be, without even feeling that way about ourselves. We latch onto people and make them our lives instead of finding our way on our own apart from the relationship. These things are what cause that downward spiral after it all ends.
Self-love is so important and this may be cliché but the saying, “before you can love someone else, you have to completely love yourself,” is nothing but the truth. We often times ignore that our neediness, clinginess or insecurities can be flaws within ourselves, issues with our mental health, clues that we are lacking love, confidence and esteem for who we are. We often think it’s cute to feel like we can’t live without someone or need them so badly to the point it drives us crazy once they leave. We feel pain that we think will never go away and fall into a state of complete unhappiness over thinking that we are the reason that they left and that we are not good enough to be loved.
I’m here to tell you that you are good enough, but you have to believe it yourself before anyone else can. You have to be able to stand alone before you can confidently stand beside someone else and you have to keep being okay with standing alone even when they are a part of your life. You have to feel your magic, and believe that you are everything they tell you that you are. Believe it so much that you don’t even need their approval.
Its human nature to desire love from one another but don’t let your wants interfere with your needs. Look in your own heart, be in a relationship with God first and then yourself, and once you feel secure with those two, the person intended for you will probably already be right in front of you. Let’s stop wasting our tears and completely destroying ourselves for things that weren’t even intended for us.
“You are worth the wait. You are worth the sacrifice. You are worth being treasured. You are worth being loved.” —Pink Lips & Empty Hearts by Heather Lindsey